Some experts say men lie more than women do; others claim the opposite. Everybody lies. But why do men lie so much? Here are the top ten reasons men lie:
1. To get sex.
Men will definitely lie to get sex.
2. They love to, and in many incidences, they don't believe there's anything "wrong" with it. They don't believe they're really "lying if they withhold some of the truth."
Men are so accustomed to lying to other men (I'm convinced this starts in childhood) that it just seems natural for them to lie to women, too. Men lie to their co-workers; they get together in bars to drink and to lie to each other about their role in "the war," about their income, the amount of their debt, what their car will do, etc., etc. There seems to be some unwritten rule that "I won't call you on yours, if you don't call me on mine."
Men don't seem to think it's a lie if it's for a good cause: to avoid hurting someone's feelings, for example (especially their own), or to get sex (they believe they're entitled), or to get out of sex.
3. Despite their love of fighting and war, they will lie to avoid conflict.
Many men love nothing better than to play war-like video games, to watch or participate in sports, where violence and competition rule; they love the idea of going to war, especially when young (of course there are exceptions, some old men would still sign up if allowed to), but if their wife or girlfriend catches them in some nefarious activity, they'll lie like floor polish to save their own behinds.
4. They will also lie to get out of an unpleasant task, or when pressure is put on them to do something they don't want to do.
Pressure must feel to men like a noose slowly tightening about their necks, they react so negatively to it (is that what made "nagging wives" such a cliché?) Women often react negatively also, but they are less likely to react violently. No one likes pressure put on them. It would certainly be helpful if men felt comfortable expressing their feelings in the first place, and secondly, in a non-destructive way. Many men act as though feelings are almost alien to them - something that women were born with, but they weren't.
5. A man who is insecure is more liable to lie, or do worse.
Insecurity is awful for anyone, but men in particular seem to be vulnerable to it. I know a man who is terribly insecure; he needs to know where his wife is every moment of the day. He doesn't get angry or violent over her activities; he just needs to know. If he lapses and does something he feels is wrong and will reflect badly on him in her eyes, he is apt to lie about it. Women also lie for this reason. No one enjoys being busted. I know another, single man who lies all the time, but only about one thing. His age. He is actually 54 but tells the women he dates that he's 45. Some of them believe him. These men put pictures of other men on the dating sites (and think they can get away with it!); they may even go so far as to doctor their driver's license, or cut 5-10 years of their history away like pruning a bush.
6. They lie online because they think no one can hold them accountable (they're forgetting their wife, and that there's software available that will tell her exactly what sites they've been visiting, what they're saying in their emails, etc.)
The great thing about the Internet is that you can disguise yourself easily and tell any lie that appeals to you (that's also one of its great detriments). Men have been known to engage a teenage girl in a chat room in order to try to persuade her (1) that he's about her age; (2) that she'd be perfectly safe with him; and (3) she'll be missing a lot if she refuses to meet him. This is execrable behavior but despite the fact that there are severe penalties under the law, they continue to do it.
7. They'll lie if they feel trapped, or that someone is trying to trap them.
No one likes feeling trapped, but again, men are likely to react more...shall we say intensely, especially if they suspect someone's trying to manipulate them into marriage. The old, tried-and-true method of claiming pregnancy doesn't work any more - men know about birth control, too. I know a woman who met a man on Wednesday, and moved in with him on Thursday. In the first flush of love (sex) he allowed it. Now, while she's telling everyone they're getting married soon, he's trying to figure out how to get rid of her, and in this case, he's sure to feel justified in lying to her.
8. They'll lie if you bust them, and they see war coming.
This is closely aligned with #3, but there are slight differences. Men seem to feel more of an obligation to be truthful with their wives, less so with their children or bosses, but almost none with everybody else. If the man has done something he knows his wife won't approve of, he'll lie extravagantly to ward off her anger, or worse, disappointment in him. The stories they come up with are in the very back of the book, labeled "If all else fails..." These include "I had a flat tire," "I met an old friend from college" (he's never been to college), and "I was out all night because I got drunk and fell asleep in the car" (he doesn't drink, and doesn't own a car). Doesn't matter, he'll still lie and expect his wife to believe him.
9. They'll lie because their wife or girlfriend is stupid, or they think she's stupid.
My friend (was married) nearly every night would stay in town after work instead of going home to his wife, sometimes until midnight or one or two in the morning. When I asked him, how he could get away with this, he laughed. "My wife is so stupid," he said, "she thinks Superman is a real person. She believes everything I tell her." He's now divorced.
10. They'll lie maliciously, for money or some other gain.
They'll lie to get access to your savings, making you think you are the woman he's been looking for all his life, etc., etc. His money is tied up in investments, blah, blah, so he needs to use yours. Some of these guys are married to two or three other women they have bilked. If you find yourself embarrassed, feeling defensive or meeting ridicule when you tell your girlfriends about him, that's the time to tie yourself to a lamp post and think this over. If he really loved you, you wouldn't have to tell your friends, they'd already know. A man who is really, truly interested in the woman herself is difficult to get rid of.
So how can i tell if man is lying? "Look at his lips - if they're moving, he's lying."
Seriously, though, there are a couple of ways to tell: you can watch his body language. If he has his arms folded across his chest, he's expecting trouble and will probably lie to avoid it. His feet point to the way he wants to go, so if he's pointing at the door, stand back. Body language is useful, study up on it.
1. To get sex.
Men will definitely lie to get sex.
2. They love to, and in many incidences, they don't believe there's anything "wrong" with it. They don't believe they're really "lying if they withhold some of the truth."
Men are so accustomed to lying to other men (I'm convinced this starts in childhood) that it just seems natural for them to lie to women, too. Men lie to their co-workers; they get together in bars to drink and to lie to each other about their role in "the war," about their income, the amount of their debt, what their car will do, etc., etc. There seems to be some unwritten rule that "I won't call you on yours, if you don't call me on mine."
Men don't seem to think it's a lie if it's for a good cause: to avoid hurting someone's feelings, for example (especially their own), or to get sex (they believe they're entitled), or to get out of sex.
3. Despite their love of fighting and war, they will lie to avoid conflict.
Many men love nothing better than to play war-like video games, to watch or participate in sports, where violence and competition rule; they love the idea of going to war, especially when young (of course there are exceptions, some old men would still sign up if allowed to), but if their wife or girlfriend catches them in some nefarious activity, they'll lie like floor polish to save their own behinds.
4. They will also lie to get out of an unpleasant task, or when pressure is put on them to do something they don't want to do.
Pressure must feel to men like a noose slowly tightening about their necks, they react so negatively to it (is that what made "nagging wives" such a cliché?) Women often react negatively also, but they are less likely to react violently. No one likes pressure put on them. It would certainly be helpful if men felt comfortable expressing their feelings in the first place, and secondly, in a non-destructive way. Many men act as though feelings are almost alien to them - something that women were born with, but they weren't.
5. A man who is insecure is more liable to lie, or do worse.
Insecurity is awful for anyone, but men in particular seem to be vulnerable to it. I know a man who is terribly insecure; he needs to know where his wife is every moment of the day. He doesn't get angry or violent over her activities; he just needs to know. If he lapses and does something he feels is wrong and will reflect badly on him in her eyes, he is apt to lie about it. Women also lie for this reason. No one enjoys being busted. I know another, single man who lies all the time, but only about one thing. His age. He is actually 54 but tells the women he dates that he's 45. Some of them believe him. These men put pictures of other men on the dating sites (and think they can get away with it!); they may even go so far as to doctor their driver's license, or cut 5-10 years of their history away like pruning a bush.
6. They lie online because they think no one can hold them accountable (they're forgetting their wife, and that there's software available that will tell her exactly what sites they've been visiting, what they're saying in their emails, etc.)
The great thing about the Internet is that you can disguise yourself easily and tell any lie that appeals to you (that's also one of its great detriments). Men have been known to engage a teenage girl in a chat room in order to try to persuade her (1) that he's about her age; (2) that she'd be perfectly safe with him; and (3) she'll be missing a lot if she refuses to meet him. This is execrable behavior but despite the fact that there are severe penalties under the law, they continue to do it.
7. They'll lie if they feel trapped, or that someone is trying to trap them.
No one likes feeling trapped, but again, men are likely to react more...shall we say intensely, especially if they suspect someone's trying to manipulate them into marriage. The old, tried-and-true method of claiming pregnancy doesn't work any more - men know about birth control, too. I know a woman who met a man on Wednesday, and moved in with him on Thursday. In the first flush of love (sex) he allowed it. Now, while she's telling everyone they're getting married soon, he's trying to figure out how to get rid of her, and in this case, he's sure to feel justified in lying to her.
8. They'll lie if you bust them, and they see war coming.
This is closely aligned with #3, but there are slight differences. Men seem to feel more of an obligation to be truthful with their wives, less so with their children or bosses, but almost none with everybody else. If the man has done something he knows his wife won't approve of, he'll lie extravagantly to ward off her anger, or worse, disappointment in him. The stories they come up with are in the very back of the book, labeled "If all else fails..." These include "I had a flat tire," "I met an old friend from college" (he's never been to college), and "I was out all night because I got drunk and fell asleep in the car" (he doesn't drink, and doesn't own a car). Doesn't matter, he'll still lie and expect his wife to believe him.
9. They'll lie because their wife or girlfriend is stupid, or they think she's stupid.
My friend (was married) nearly every night would stay in town after work instead of going home to his wife, sometimes until midnight or one or two in the morning. When I asked him, how he could get away with this, he laughed. "My wife is so stupid," he said, "she thinks Superman is a real person. She believes everything I tell her." He's now divorced.
10. They'll lie maliciously, for money or some other gain.
They'll lie to get access to your savings, making you think you are the woman he's been looking for all his life, etc., etc. His money is tied up in investments, blah, blah, so he needs to use yours. Some of these guys are married to two or three other women they have bilked. If you find yourself embarrassed, feeling defensive or meeting ridicule when you tell your girlfriends about him, that's the time to tie yourself to a lamp post and think this over. If he really loved you, you wouldn't have to tell your friends, they'd already know. A man who is really, truly interested in the woman herself is difficult to get rid of.
So how can i tell if man is lying? "Look at his lips - if they're moving, he's lying."
Seriously, though, there are a couple of ways to tell: you can watch his body language. If he has his arms folded across his chest, he's expecting trouble and will probably lie to avoid it. His feet point to the way he wants to go, so if he's pointing at the door, stand back. Body language is useful, study up on it.
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